How to Roll with Disappointment

It’s easy to love our successes! Even to appreciate our efforts to change when we see some sort of progress. What about when change doesn’t happen as planned? What if we’ve worked hard to change our habits, then a situation comes up – and we fall flat on our faces?

Getting upset is natural. When we’re motivated to change, we have expectations for results. Great. We also have expectations for exactly how this change should look. Not so great. Change happens in stages. It happens in weird and wonderful ways. We need to stay clear headed long enough to witness what develops and how.

Appreciation and gratitude are instant mood changers. I fully support this approach. However, sometimes it’s okay to sit with the frustrations as well. Staying open and receptive in the midst of uncomfortable feelings can be liberating. There’s a lot of freedom in not needing to immediately fix or change.

When we can embrace the disappointments in ourselves whole heartedly and without condemnation and judgement, they cease to be so disappointing. Which is a big win! It’s like the monster in the closet when you were a kid (in my case it was bloodthirsty pirates with swords hiding under my bed). They’re scarier when hidden in the dark than when confronted in the light.

The ability to embrace less than stellar results hinges on the belief that we are MORE than what we want to achieve. Because we know our time is limited, it’s natural that we want to make the best of the gift that life is.

However, we must not confuse that with our value. Value is innate regardless of what we do or don’t do, of where we came from or who our ancestors were. If this is our baseline belief of our worthiness, then all of our efforts to achieve are sweet and delicious icing on the cake – not the cake itself. Sometimes that’s hard to accept when we’ve been conditioned to believe that achievement is everything.

Again it boils down to enjoying the process. Being in awe of the ability to mold ourselves into the person we need to be to achieve more of what we want. To realize that nothing is fixed. Everything is an evolution, including us.

How did you evolve this week?


Today’s action item-What didn’t work the way you thought it would this week? Write it down. Try being okay with it for awhile – before you take action. You might find you have more energy working from a place of acceptance than with judgement.


One thought on “How to Roll with Disappointment

  1. Great article!

    Love this line that you included: ‘When we can embrace the disappointments in ourselves whole heartedly and without condemnation and judgement, they cease to be so disappointing.’

    I am definitely going to take on this advice more and continue to grow and learn from my “disappointments’!

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