-Practice techniques to sound confident and become confident.
Did you ever walk away from an important conversation, regretting how unsure you sounded?
Confidence is essential for job interviews, presentations, sales pitches, negotiations and conflict resolutions. But you don’t always have to be confident to sound confident. There are techniques you can practice to make yourself sound more self-assured while helping you become self-assured.
What gets in the way.
Everyone has something that limits their ability to be bold, to trust themselves or feel certain.
You may have lingering memories of negative past experiences of criticism or rejection. You might have fallen into the trap of speaking negatively to yourself, saying, “I’m not smart enough.” Perhaps you fear being judged by others so you’re quick to judge yourself first.
All of this can lead to giving up before you even start. Low confidence can make you anxious and have difficulty focusing when needed. The whole idea of communicating with confidence can seem out of your league.
But it doesn’t have to.
Here are three tips to sound confident, even when you don’t feel confident.
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Eliminate the negative.
Don’t undermine yourself using negative phrases. Unfortunately, some of us have been taught that it’s “authentic” to belittle ourselves not to appear superior. It isn’t. Always put your best foot forward by eliminating these negative phrases and choosing their positive counterparts.
Eliminate:
I’m sorry, but… (Don’t apologize for something you are about to say. Apologies are only for something you’ve already done)
I don’t know if this makes sense, but…
I could be wrong, but…
I’m not sure but…
Choose instead:
In my experience…
I believe that…
I trust that…
I’m confident that…
Use fewer words.
We tend to overexplain when unsure or weak about enforcing our boundaries. Please don’t do it. Speak what you do know clearly and then commit to getting back to the person with additional information later.
Additionally, maintain your boundaries by saying no politely. You are in charge of your life. You don’t have to explain why you don’t want to or can’t do something. “No, that won’t work for me. Thanks for the offer.”
Keep your communication concise. Beware of filler words like – um, ah, like, you know, basically, literally and actually. They are meant to buy you time while you think. If you need time, then feel free to take it with a pause. A few seconds of silence might be uncomfortable, but it can make you sound thoughtful and intelligent to other people.
Have positive body language.
How you carry yourself reflects what’s going on in your mind. On the other hand, intentionally changing what’s happening outside sends an opposite message to your brain, shifting how you feel inside.
Be proactive, regardless of how you feel. Smile, put your shoulders back and square your head instead of tilting to one side or the other. Eye contact is essential but can be maintained only some of the time. Focus on ensuring eye-to-eye connection when completing a sentence to project confidence.
Let me leave you with this. There are two ways to develop confidence. One is from within. The more you believe in yourself and your abilities, the more confident you will sound. However, that takes time. But you don’t have to wait. While growing and developing internally, you can master the art of sounding confident even before you are!
You could call it faking it until you make it. But I wouldn’t. Fake never feels good.
Instead, do the techniques as your display of a confident step forward.
Til next week,
Jo-Aynne Von Born, READYSETMORE
Work Your Authentic Genius.
Flourish using your own intelligence!
- In what situations do you want to sound more confident?
- What would be the benefit if you did?
- Which practice can you start working on today: eliminate the negative, use fewer words or positive body language?