Donna is a junior associate at a high-pressure law firm. Whenever she encounters criticism from her superiors, she suppresses her feelings of inadequacy and frustration, convincing herself they’ll dissipate on their own.
However, over time, this suppression takes its toll. Her performance suffers, and she becomes increasingly demotivated and detached from her work.
How do we handle intense emotions when they arise? If we suppress them, we might unknowingly do ourselves more harm than good.
Ignorance is not bliss.
A recent study from the American Psychological Association indicates that embracing and expressing your emotions, rather than avoiding them, is critical to maximizing your emotional well-being.
Contrary to popular belief, ignoring negative emotions doesn’t make them disappear. Instead, they accumulate, leaving you ill-prepared to deal with them. Each subsequent stressful encounter compounds the emotional burden. However, by acknowledging and embracing your emotions, you gain greater mastery, fostering a path to increased happiness.
Acknowledge to be agile.
Your ability to acknowledge and accept your emotions is a superpower known as psychological flexibility. While many advocate for embracing the positive and discarding the negative, research suggests that those who can confront reality as it is, experience less stress, adapt better to situations, and are more resilient during tough times. This is a skill that you can cultivate, empowering you to navigate the high-pressure work environment with grace and confidence.
While observing people’s emotional responses to various stimuli, research reveals that individuals who didn’t attempt to suppress intense emotions, whether positive or negative, reported higher levels of happiness, less anger and were less prone to react poorly to similar stressful situations in the future.
The benefits of psychological flexibility extend beyond emotional well-being. It can also lead to improved decision-making, better relationships, and increased job satisfaction.
Action→ Facing tough emotions.
The next time experience negative emotions when challenges, commit to these three steps:
- Name what you are feeling.
- Reflect to understand why the situation is stimulating these specific feelings.
- Focus on actionable steps within your control to address the situation differently, letting the feelings work themselves out on their own.
What this looks like in practice.
Sarah, a fellow junior associate of Donna, serves as a example. Instead of suppressing her emotions, she bravely acknowledges them. When confronted with criticism, Sarah allows herself to feel the sting of disappointment and deeply examines why it affects her.
With a deeper understanding and self-awareness, she can let go of the need to “fix or change” her emotions. Instead, she can focus on identifying areas for improvement and takes proactive steps to address them. Over time, she blossoms into a more resilient individual, her performance under pressure skyrockets, and her motivation and engagement at work soar.
To enhance psychological flexibility, don’t shy away from situations that evoke fear, stress, or discomfort. Instead, let them be moments of growth and strengthening. Doing this repeatedly enables you to develop the ability to thrive despite uncomfortable emotions.
Often, we suppress our emotions out of fear of tarnishing our self-image. During these trying times, it is crucial to separate thoughts and feelings from your identity. Instead, allow them both to surface with the least amount of judgment to gain clarity, cultivate adaptive responses and strengthen your self-image.
Listen to learn more.
If you would like to learn more on embracing discomfort and finding opportunities in challenges, watch my interview on the Lila Life Podcast Show on YouTube: https://youtu.be/KIxH6qnSvls
Remember, your potential is not limited by negative emotions and experiences, unless you allow it to be. Confront what is uncomfortable and watch your potential take flight!
Until next week, take good care.
Jo-Aynne Von Born, Leadership and Executive Coach