Having more in our lives is about choosing more.
Choosing more leads us to evaluate what actions it will take to realize our goals. It helps us look more clearly at what we want and decide what is worth our effort and what is not. It is a beautifully orchestrated system.
That takes us to our truth.
To dream about what we want is like a wonderful massage. It will put us in tune with our body but it will never build the muscle like working out at the gym.
Choosing what we want more of is active. Choosing is alive with energy. Choosing builds strength, conviction, fortitude.
This is the magic of writing a MORE list every day. It sharpens our focus on what we choose and why. It asks us, is this important enough for our full attention? Or is this just in vogue with what others want?
Choosing more is not about perfectionism. It is about consciously choosing our life experiences. As we evolve with life, our choices evolve to include new actions and new perceptions. Try not to confuse wanting and choosing more with the idea that this moment is not enough.
Perfectionism in any aspect of life is an attempt to cover the feeling that we are not good enough. Again our intrinsic value has nothing to do with what we want to experience more of in this life. When we confuse these two, wanting more becomes wanting perfect.
Moments that are perceived as not enough are the seed of perfectionism. As if some future moment filled with more of something will make us feel whole and worthy.
Brene Brown is a researcher and expert on shame. This is her definition of perfectionism:
“Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: “If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”
Wanting and choosing more of what is authentically important to us is in alignment with the idea that this his moment is enough. This moment is ripe with insight as to how we view our lives, what to be grateful for and what actions are needed to move forward in the direction that we choose.
Because our lives do move forward. Moment by moment. How we will spend those moments, what we will focus our energy on, is vital to living a life we choose rather than a life we “got stuck with.”
Choice is the beginning of all experience. We can use it to our advantage. When we acknowledge the power of our choices (either a choice of action or perception) we immediately become more responsible for what we choose. We learn to notice our thoughts, words and actions. We get curious about what we say we want. We get more honest about what we really want.
Let’s choose more consciously. Let’s heighten our awareness of what we are unconsciously choosing. Let’s write our MORE list every day to keep us on track.
What do you choose for your MORE list?
5 minute action item-Write down what you want more of in your life. Write it as a choice to empower you to take action and be responsible for what you choose. This will separate out what is inauthentic from what is meaningful. It will focus your energy on what is true for you.