-You’re not being as authentic as you think.
Frustration isn’t so much about not getting what you want. It’s about not feeling the way you want. Most people believe they must accomplish certain goals or have things a specific way to feel good.
While reaching goals and having your way is satisfying, it’s only temporary.
The fulfillment you really want is to feel more in control of how you respond to the everyday ups and downs. When you work and live authentically, you have more charge over your life experience regardless of the events happening around you.
Authenticity means more satisfaction and less frustration.
For example, you value autonomy, yet your boss micromanages you, controlling how and when you do everything.
You’re frustrated, wanting free reign over your time and tasks. However, when you recognize that you still have complete command over your actions, you immediately start a dialogue and take steps to create the work environment you need to deliver your best.
Authenticity empowers you to take consistent action for as long as you need. Why? Because being true to yourself feels better than hiding or being someone else to get what you want.
Authenticity may not be what you think it is.
Most people think authenticity is being who you are. That’s true to some extent, but there’s more. Which “you” are you being true to? We all have our character strengths, positive values and beliefs. We also have our limitations and negativity.
Being authentic is being honest about the whole of you and choosing to operate from your best parts. If you don’t like being micromanaged and seek to work more autonomously, you honor that by speaking up and working towards that outcome constructively. Not by brooding, complaining or demanding change without concern for others.
Authenticity is your roadmap to happiness and success.
Authenticity is a profound self-awareness that guides you to your best work and life. When you know the joy and satisfaction your positive values, beliefs and character strengths offer, you will only want to make choices that align with them.
At the same time, understanding the impact of your negative values, beliefs and character limitations will encourage you to steer clear of them as much as possible.
There is a lot of personal power in working and living this way. You’re no longer a slave to outcomes. Instead, you trust your best authentic self to courageously lead the way, eliminating much of the frustration of trying to force results.
Authenticity seeks trusting relationships.
Because authentic people are honest with themselves, they have the humility to know that two heads are better than one. While being true to their best selves, they acknowledge they lack in some way.
Instead of competing or trying to be more, they value relationships as trusted partnerships that help both parties get more of what they need for success.
Frustration is an inside-out issue. Yet, we often try to solve it from the outside-in, focusing on getting what we want to feel how we want. While this might work some of the time, it usually backfires.
Authenticity is the time-tested solution to frustration. Stop focusing on the circumstances of the situation and make sure that you are approaching it from the best parts of yourself.
When you do, you’ll find that things work out more smoothly, people become your allies and you’ll enjoy the process more.
Til next time,
Jo-Aynne Von Born, Leadership and Executive Coach
Work Your Authentic Genius.
- Where are you most frustrated right now?
- How could more authenticity turn that around?
- How authentic are your relationships with the people involved?